I Give You A Beesechurger

This is a short piece of absurdist fiction written impromptu to combine the Cuil Theory and a popular Tumblr post by user hustlerose.

you wake up in a dark room. you do not know where you are, nor how you got here. in the distance, a red light blinks. you stand up, and walk towards the light. unfortunately, you do not pass to any afterlife.

instead, you feel up the wall before you, and discover the raised bump of an intercom speaker. as your fingers brush over it, you hear a burst of static as it comes online. you hear me begin to speak.

"welcome to mcdawnalds. do you wanna phucking beesechurger?"

tears begin to stream down your face. you didn't ask to be here. no, you don't want a fucking beesechurger. you just want to see your wife again, and you say as much.

"p-please. i just want to s-see my wife again."

you hope that this works. you hope that i take pity on you, that your pleas will awaken a shred of human decency within me. you get no such mercy.

i give you a beesechurger.

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